Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
