Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night