he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
