im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize