I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
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Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize