I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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