i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
