the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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