I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize