I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
COCAINE IS GR8
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
