i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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