i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
How external is "for external use only"?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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