Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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