i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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