You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
