btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize