New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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