the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
