i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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