So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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