We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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