maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
