Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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