just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
