My girlfriend figured out who you are.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
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i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
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Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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