Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
