I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
