Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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