The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
