he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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