Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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