to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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