why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
