His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
