hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
