part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
50% drunk capacity currently
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
