That's when you crack a 10am beer
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
