I'm jealous of your bromance
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
