Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
