DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
