woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
