I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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