Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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