Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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