Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
