i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
