literally had 100 drinks last night.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
