Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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