THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
zippers are such a cool invention
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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