I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
