she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
