he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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