Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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