The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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