So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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