Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
