yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
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you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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