If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
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