I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
