We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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