i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
