Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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