Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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