I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
3pm strippers are depressing
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
