I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you had me at cake vodka
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
