Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
