Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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