first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
