We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize